Hello from The Goods’ twice-weekly newsletter! On Tuesdays, internet culture reporter Rebecca Jennings uses this space to update you all on what’s been going on in the world of TikTok. Is there something you want to see more of? Less of? Different of? Email [email protected], and subscribe to The Goods’ newsletter here.

Nothing is certain except death, taxes, and gimmicky food videos, even in a pandemic. Remember a few weeks ago when everyone was making Dalgona coffee, a.k.a. cloud coffee, a.k.a. fluffy coffee? There is now another TikTok trend you can make with practically zero ingredients that has a wildly evocative name: pancake cereal.

Here is how to make pancake cereal: Make a ton of really, really tiny pancakes. Put them in a bowl. Add maple syrup. Some people are adding milk, but that sounds disgusting. Eat with a spoon.

Why do we need to tinker with pancakes, which are already a perfect food? We do not. But much like the Facebook frankenfood video tutorials of yore (remember cheeseburger-stuffed onion rings? I unfortunately do!), this kind of content excels no matter what platform it’s on, not only because humans love to watch hands making things, but because it takes recognizable,accessible objects and turns them into something surprising.

Also, a lot of people are extra bored right now. Why not needlessly complicate a standard recipe to make something that probably tastes a little bit worse but at least makes you feel like you’ve accomplished something?

TikTok in the news

Meme watch

I love discovering the new ways people express their thirst for hot celebrities. The latest one goes like this: You make a slow-motion edit of your fave on Adobe Premiere Pro, zoom in on it, and make the cuts correspond to the 2015 song “Play Date” by Melanie Martinez. This sounds complicated, but it pretty much just looks like hot people in slow motion against a moody song.

So far I’ve seen versions for all the icons of horny TikTok: Timothée Chalamet, young Leo DiCaprio, Madison Beer, BTS’s Taehyung, and, hilariously, Rodrick from the Diary of a Wimpy Kid movies, who is indeed very hot, and also Regina George. It’s all so chaste, really, because there’s truly never been a better time to spend your days pining for someone completely unattainable and creating elaborate videos for them that they’ll never see.

One Last Thing

A perfect recreation of what it’s like to watch yourself on Zoom.

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